- At the end of May I ended my career as a paraprofessional and took a job offer from my insurance agent to work for State Farm... "Get to a better state," but I wouldn't say that the grass is always greener on the other side =/
- With taking on a new job that started in June throughout mid-July, I've been working 40hr weeks, studying religious for the insurance producer exams, practicing tues/thurs nights and saturday mornings during the week and performing at gigs with Maohi Nui on top of all of that... all the extra activities and obligations that I had going on were just wearing me down.
- Also in the beginning of June I moved out of the house because I was forced to be without a room in my own home because my mom surprised me with the fact that her siblings and their families would be moving into our house.
- July was crazy on top of everything going on, couple of us dancers were getting ready to go on tour to Japan on July 18-30th... 12 days :( Extra rehearsals were required and a lot of new costumes needed to be made. I was exhausted... so exhausted that the week before tour, I was running a fever of 103.7 degrees. I was miserable with the chills, recurring headaches. I felt miserable and I knew that I had still A LOT to get done :(
- Finally in August, moved back home. My sleeping quarters consist of a fold up cushion pad in the living room tucked right under our piano. My parents offered their bed, but my dad recently hurt his back. Sleeping on the floor and having no room is NO FUN AT ALL, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Also, upon returning home from tour I found out the most life-changing news that completely threw me for a loop...
I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!
The very moment after I pee'd on that stick in a hotel room in Japan and saw the plus sign form all I could think was "This is soooo weird," while the other dancers bid me congratulations, I couldn't help but worry about all the stress that I've put on myself and baby prior-to and from that moment of "knowing" I knew that I needed to change my lifestyle and I knew that nothing else in the world was more important than the life and well-being of my little jelly bean :D
So now we're in the month of September this coming Thursday I'll be 13 weeks. Let me just say that every pregnancy is definitel different because while almost every celebrity looks absolutely stunning carrying their lady lump around town, I on the other hand am a miserable train-wreck! It's no overstatement when I say that the smell and taste of everything makes my stomach turn and my morning sickness lasts well passed the morning hours into the afternoon, night time, and I even wake up in the middle of my sleep feeling nauseous. So I end up walking around to sooth my stomach or I even cry because of how miserable I feel :(
Work is also a different story. If I could call in sick every day just to stay at home and rest, trust me, I would, but right now work is a necessity and it is my only obligation... the only thing I need to get through so I can one day afford a house for my future family to live in and save up for a good college education for my little jelly bean. Of course I haven't forgotten about the baby stroller, car seat, diapers, etc.
I never thought driving would be such a difficult task!! I get super nauseous in car rides, especially when I'm driving. Sitting or waiting in restaurants make me sick to stomach because I hate the smell of food cooking! That fresh smell of coffee perking every morning makes my stomach turn. The scent of my deodorant, lotions, and hair shampoo make me gag fo' dayz because I think those smells absolutely reek! Brushing my tongue causes my meals come streaming out of me (I know right... soooo gross). French fries taste so frikken nasty... and last one, but definitely not the least, water!! Yesss, water tastes so yucky :( but I'm lucky I can force it down every day, but it has to be super cold, if not, it'll come right back up. The reason why I drink so much water during the day is because I'm afraid of getting headaches because my mom refuses to give me any kind of medication for it (yes even after the dr. deemed tylenol to be absolutely safe).
Once my OB confirmed my pregnancy, I bought the book What to Expect When You're Expecting. As informative of a book it is, it still sucks! It makes for a great horror story! This book literally scares the living crap out of me!! Telling me that my nipples may bleed, my anus muscles will hurt, syndromes, diseases, how my skin color may change--and I'm not talking pretty and vibrant colors the way chameleons do. How hairy I'll get, how morning sickness gets worse then goes away or may even last throughout the whole 9 months, or even how a cesarean scar could hurt for the rest of your life! Oh my gosh maybe it's just me, but it makes pregnancy seem like a living nightmare!
As fearful, worried, and miserable as I am EVERY DAY... of course there are a few things that I am thankful for:
So now we're in the month of September this coming Thursday I'll be 13 weeks. Let me just say that every pregnancy is definitel different because while almost every celebrity looks absolutely stunning carrying their lady lump around town, I on the other hand am a miserable train-wreck! It's no overstatement when I say that the smell and taste of everything makes my stomach turn and my morning sickness lasts well passed the morning hours into the afternoon, night time, and I even wake up in the middle of my sleep feeling nauseous. So I end up walking around to sooth my stomach or I even cry because of how miserable I feel :(
Work is also a different story. If I could call in sick every day just to stay at home and rest, trust me, I would, but right now work is a necessity and it is my only obligation... the only thing I need to get through so I can one day afford a house for my future family to live in and save up for a good college education for my little jelly bean. Of course I haven't forgotten about the baby stroller, car seat, diapers, etc.
I never thought driving would be such a difficult task!! I get super nauseous in car rides, especially when I'm driving. Sitting or waiting in restaurants make me sick to stomach because I hate the smell of food cooking! That fresh smell of coffee perking every morning makes my stomach turn. The scent of my deodorant, lotions, and hair shampoo make me gag fo' dayz because I think those smells absolutely reek! Brushing my tongue causes my meals come streaming out of me (I know right... soooo gross). French fries taste so frikken nasty... and last one, but definitely not the least, water!! Yesss, water tastes so yucky :( but I'm lucky I can force it down every day, but it has to be super cold, if not, it'll come right back up. The reason why I drink so much water during the day is because I'm afraid of getting headaches because my mom refuses to give me any kind of medication for it (yes even after the dr. deemed tylenol to be absolutely safe).
Once my OB confirmed my pregnancy, I bought the book What to Expect When You're Expecting. As informative of a book it is, it still sucks! It makes for a great horror story! This book literally scares the living crap out of me!! Telling me that my nipples may bleed, my anus muscles will hurt, syndromes, diseases, how my skin color may change--and I'm not talking pretty and vibrant colors the way chameleons do. How hairy I'll get, how morning sickness gets worse then goes away or may even last throughout the whole 9 months, or even how a cesarean scar could hurt for the rest of your life! Oh my gosh maybe it's just me, but it makes pregnancy seem like a living nightmare!
As fearful, worried, and miserable as I am EVERY DAY... of course there are a few things that I am thankful for:
- Preggie pops & Zofran.
- My hardworking & nurturing other half whom most of the time flies off island for work, but still never fails to make baby and I his priority :)
- And my amazing family and friends (you know who you are ;) ) for being understanding of my needs and for having my back when I needed it most! I have an awesome support system :D
Mary, my Mother, grant that my little children may instruct me in the ways of God. Let their innocent eyes speak to me of the spotless holiness of Jesus. Let their open smiles remind me of the great love God has for his creatures. Let their helplessness teach me the unbounded power of God. May their first feeble efforts to speak call to mind the wisdom of the Almighty. May their simple trust in me lead me to cherish a like confidence in God. May my love for God be stimulated by the deep-rooted affection my children have for me. May I in all these things grow in a greater appreciation of my holy motherhood. Mary, I trust in you to obtain this favor for me. Amen.
Mother of Mothers, pray for me!
