Yin and Yang--the balance of life.
Sweet and salty.
Hunger and satisfaction.
Up and down.
Happiness and grief.
It is exactly what my January of 2012 felt like. Along with all the great things to come and that are currently going on, it is countered with the struggles that my nearest and dearest friends are having to endure. It is sad and it humbles me to the root of my own existence. Every day, now I "die to myself" a little, thinking what I can do to make things better for my friends, for my family, for humanity :'(
The upside to this month was the joy of being able to be that much closer to the birth of my baby, which I pray is as healthy as a horse :D I was able to go for a relaxing dip in my friend's pool and towards the end of the month my family and friends threw me a surprise baby shower! It was more than I had imagined it to be and I was soooo happy and above all, grateful for everything!!
Also this month my really good friend, my former fellow dance line captain of Maohi Nui [prior to me being pregnant and stepping down from the line] informed me of relationship issues that she has encountered, which began to take a snowball effect into larger problems, involving her entire family and has begun to stress her out. I try my best daily to be there for her and give her daily doses of positivity and a reality check here and there hehehe!
Another dear friend of mine, has informed us of a spinal surgery that she has to go through :( In an email she wrote to us about the surgery and her thoughts...
...I would have told u all in person about this but it has made me so stressed, scared, overwhelmed and jus emotional the past month and I just can't talk about it without breaking down. I was told that the recovery process will be one of the most painful things I have to go through. and to be honest with u all, I go through so much pain everyday, n i try not to show it. but jus thinking about how much more pain I have to go through jus really gets the best of me; I'm really not sure if I'm ready for it. =*( but I am gonna keep doing what I've been doing and with the love and support I have from my family and all of you, I know I'll get thru this! My docs said it'll take about 3-6 months for me to recover so that means we're gonna be MIA for a bit =(
In another email...
...My cyst grew bigger but isnt affecting anything right now. There's nothing they can do for now since its not life threatening yet. But how do you tell someone who's going thru so much, who constantly gets bad news about their health, to not worry?! I'm so sick n tired of all this. I'm tired of being in pain, I'm tired of taking meds, I'm tired of worrying wat will happen next. I'm so ready to jus give up but I can't cuz I have my kids n [husband] to think about. Getting this news right before my surgery has made things so much more difficult for me. I'm trying to jus deal with one thing at a time but I'm jus so exhausted...I really need a break from all this!
I look up to her for so many reasons and believe that even with all that she is going through [has been going through], she is blessed beyond measure--we all are :) In my heart, I know that I want to do so much for her and the non-profit foundation she wants to built, but I don't know exactly how I can help :( So I plan to just take things one day at a time and be there for her--visit her often and bring her some of goodies and funny jokes hehe!
The day before her surgery, I said a prayer and each day, hold it faithfully in my heart. She will pull through! My friends and family that I continually pray for will pull through :) and we need these struggles in our lives as much as we need each other because without any pain or suffering, we would not be able to appreciate the greatness in our lives!!
My dearest, loving God,
I ask and pray that you please be with my friend [------]. Please send comforting thoughts her way and please fill her heart with your love, guidance, and presence, letting her know that her family, friends, and You are always with her rooting for her to continue doing a great job pushing through and being strong!! Please keep [her husband and children] strong and hopeful because as she much as she needs them, they need her more than she knows!! We all need her so please Lord, please protect my friend, whom has fought a long way being an amazing mother of three and a beautiful, wonderful wife! We trust that you will guide her through a safe and speedy recovery!!
In Your name we humbly pray for Your continued blessings for my amazing friend, [------], and her family. Amen.
Sent from my iPad
Was hard seeing her like that, but I'm glad we are all in support of her and her family. I'm sure all of our prayers have and is still helping her.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you were very grateful for your baby shower. I'm sure it's exhilarating to see how much you're loved :) I wish I could've been there! Well, I was there in spirit, lol