Last Christmas

It's almost hard to believe that this year is coming to an end!  Last Christmas doesn't seem so long ago.  I spent the Holidays practicing day in and day out for our Tahitian group's Christmas Production over at the Aloha Tower.  Who knew that, that was to be the last Christmas I'd spend being myself--meaning the pre-pregnant me hehe!  And although the year seemed to have gone by so quickly, my pregnancy just seems to draaaag day by day :0(  I seriously can't wait for baby to come so I can hold my precious angel in my arms instead of in my womb.

Along this journey I was able to take some maternity pictures.  In the beginning when I had arrived home from our Japan dance tour I already knew in my head that if I decided to take any pictures with child, I didn't want to do the typical beach photos that a lot of expecting mothers take only because these days, the beaches are crowded w/ photo shoots!  I remember our family did a shoot during the New Year and our photographer said she would "photoshop people out of the scenery." I didn't want something "made or photoshoped."  I wanted something simple, natural, and wow!  Here are just a few of the photos that were taken by my awesome friend, Ian Susa.  All I can say is that it pays to do your homework and that I have the greatest friends ever!!

The holidays always gets me in a cheerful mood!  I love when my mom and I get together to "Deck the Halls" We bought our Christmas tree and I got to decorate it this year... no it's no Rockefeller Center tree, in fact it's quite small and meek :0)

I also wanted to display some of the cool gifts that I got.  [Ever since I was little I didn't have the patience to wait for Christmas to open gifts.  I'd always creep under the tree and tear little holes in the wrapping paper just to get a little sneak hehe!]

My boyfriend got me and ipad!!!!!  Okay so some of the things I did gift myself lol, but doesn't mean that I ONLY shop for myself... no, no, NOOO, not at all!

Aside from the gifts that I've bought for family and friends, I am still helping my mom financially to help HER FAMILY make a living.  Some days I don't mind, but other days I think about how soon I will have a family of my own and I can't be always throwing my money here and there to help them!!  And it hurts me a lot and I get so emotional because the kids don't appreciate the sacrifices that I've had to make.  I had to give up my room for them, our pets suffer having to live outside because of them, I've given clothes to them, bought groceries for them, give my mom money for their rent and other things.  No, these kids don't know that a portion of the money comes from me.  They don't know how to take care of MY family's home.  They don't know who pays the electricity bills and cleans up the kitchen and bathroom after them.  They don't know how much it hurts me to be in this situation and I sometimes feel that my mom even forgets.

Today is one of my cousin's birthday.  My mom wants to throw a pizza party and asks me for money to pay for it.  I overheard one of my aunts asking how much it would cost and my mom said, "No, it's okay!  I got it!"  Oh **crinkled forhead** well doesn't she mean that I (her daughter) GOT IT!  Then, of course the kids will eat all the food and leave nothing for me... as usual!  I think they just assume I'm invisible and I'm not hungry :0(  I've been feeling this way for a very long time and I'm constantly battling my thoughts to just be nice because my mom tells me constantly to not scold them, but it's so hard!!  How could I not scold them?!  On top of everything I've previously mentioned my cousins even dared to look at porn on my computer--which was in my room--without my consent!!!

If there's really anything I would want for Christmas... it would be to have peace in this home once again and for my parents to get a break from her relatives taking everything from them :0(  Hopefully this will be the last Christmas that I will spend having to feel this way :0(

UPDATE: The kids ate all the cheetos :'( but it's okay because I always start to feel bad because of the happy smiles on all of their faces.  Here's the second round of gifts for my family that is not overseas.  The santa sacks are for the kids filled with candy goodies and some money... key word is some money because hello?!  Aunteh not rich! HAHAHAHAHA!

H A P P Y . H O L I D A Y S . E V E R Y O N E !!!