Baby Steps

My baby had just turned 3 months old about a week and a half ago. Her party planning is definitely coming along and life is such a great journey! I love my baby so much and I am feeling content with everything and everyone in my life!!

Although she is still too young to crawl, she has definitely already met some milestones and is taking baby steps in developing to be a strong little wonder!

I too am taking baby steps of my own to becoming a great mother, daughter, friend, and partner.

I've become domesticated to the point where I wake up at 4:30am to prep breakfast and pack a lunch for Junior before heading to work and making dinner by the time he returns from the gym. We both also started a new healthy diet journey by eating more organic foods as this will help lead a good example for Lily in the future.

After breakfast and/or lunch is prepped for Junior, sometimes I have time to cook up breakfast for my mom's patients, if not, I start washing up and get ready for my day, then feed my daughter, and then begin house chores.

But from next month on, things will be a little different as I begin to go back to work. I just had an interview yesterday that went great and soon I'll have orientation after I get all of my paperwork turned in. I do plan to continue to breastfeed so thank goodness for my Medela pump ;)

Since May, I also have gone back to Tahitian dancing! So far I am loving every minute of it! It gives me some mommy time and a chance to get back the body I once had. I have been out of the hard core dancing scene for so long that I did not realize how much muscle strength it involved! I literally had to start at beginner's level and even then, my body was aching for days!! A month and a half later I have been able to work up to intermediate level of dance and I'm still dying, but at least I know I am getting an intense workout!

I'm just so excited that both baby and I are growing as individuals. I have always been on a busy schedule so being a stay-at-home mom was out of the question and now that I have my mother to babysit! I am so thankful more than ever!!

The next milestone for my baby is to get her on to solids and I've found the best book to help me to start her off on the right path :)

My next couple of milestone are to start work, make it back to advanced classes with Maohi Nui, and to hopefully lose 15lbs by December.

Have a grrrrrreat week everyone!!

Decisions! Decisions!

With my daughter being 8 weeks old soon, there are so many decisions that I need to make, keeping in mind the best interest of my daughter!  My life has been very busy with my new born bundle of joy and now that she's getting older and bigger,  I have some time now to blog and vent about things that have been going on.

Now that my daughter is here, there has been so many decisions to be made regarding putting monies aside for her future, getting her baptized, planning her first birthday party, going back into the workforce, but will my job be "breast-pump friendly" :(  As if I don't have enough to worry about with the little every day things that comes with being a mommy to Lily, partner to Junior, and compromising with both sides of the family **sigh**

After about 9 months, I have finally began working out again :) It's so hard to explain the kind of nausea and fatigue that pregnancy can bring to someone whom has never experienced it!  I can only say that it was so bad to the point where I had to stop working out, and could not last in car rides due to smells and the feeling of being car sick, and overall, I just felt soooo tired!  I missed out on some life changing events because I, myself, was going through a life changing event.  If I were in my normal state, I would've been the same responsible and reliable person, but I couldn't help but put my daughter first and not risk my health!  I wanted my baby to be safe, comfy, and healthy!

I remember what that Japan tour was like for me when I was dancing, but feeling completely drained and sick, only to find out that I was about 6 or 7 weeks pregnant!  It felt like hell for me and I also felt like I was torturing my daughter's home :(  Anyways, I am only 3 days into my morning workout routine and my body hurts so much that I can barely walk, and lowering myself to sit on the toilet makes me shed a tear :'(  I can't believe I used to do this regularly on top of dancing almost 5 nights a week!!

All of my hospital bills are paid, my doctor bills have been paid, my daughter's doctor bills have been paid, and her baptismal is on it's way, so I feel somewhat accomplished, but I'm still overwhelmed with all of the decisions that have to yet be made!

This Saturday Junior and I will be going in to meet with one of staff members from Saint Joseph Church regarding our daughter's baptismal.  The deposit to secure the venue for our daughter's first birthday is also due this weekend and I have to admit that planning her first birthday is beginning to scare me, financially!  Junior has been so supportive and willing to pay for whatever we need, but I'm so used to managing my own money and paying for my own things.  I've been able to (believe it or not) pay for everything that I have mentioned in the previous paragraph with my own funds, but since I'm not working, I'm starting to worry because those funds and disappearing before my eyes :'(

I really, really, REALLY, want my daughter to have a beautiful, fun-filled first birthday and be able to enjoy it with all of our loved ones!  Who wouldn't want that for their little princess, right?!  And like my sister Tine told me, if there's a will, there's a way so let's hope that all the right decisions are made from this point on :D

Wish me luck everyone!  Love you guys!

Friday the 13th

I've been wanting to blog for a while about a lot of things--baby, how Ma'ohi Nui did in this past Tahitian Dance Competition, motherhood, etc. but just haven't had the time w/ my new born bundle of joy.

This will be a short one. Mommy-hood can get pretty frustrating! And I have to say today was probably the worst day of iit! It's very comforting to hear friends & those closest to me say, "you're going to make an amazing mommy!" especially after hearing my own mother say I'm the worst daughter of all my sisters and that all the help that I've done for her will never amount to anything & that I have a devil in my head.

Ouch! I could really use a shoulder to cry on right now! Junior's at work, my baby girl is sleeping... I probably deserve this :''(

Work in Progress

I am at about 38 weeks, which means still no baby, still itchy (from rash), still impatient for baby to arrive!

This is the second week of the Catholic season of Lent.  Last week, I did pretty horrible at remember to refrain from particular food items which I have chose to give up.  For 40 days I am to not have any candy, ice cream, pasta, and soda :( This week, I've done really well at remembering that I can't have these items so hopefully I'll be able to continue to do well in abstaining until Easter Sunday!

My PUPPPs are still here and they continue to make my day less pleasant than I hope for, but preparing my precious baby's room is the best remedy because it keeps my mind occupied and I get feelings of excitement and joy that she'll soon be here and be able to enjoy her room... It is not quite ready yet, but it's a work in progress.

Looking back on all the events that lead up to this point from last year up until now, I can't help but be soOoOoOo thankful to God for everything that he has blessed me with, thus far and I continue to pray that she's healthy and for things to continue to fall into place.  I can recall last year, with my extended family moving into the home, not having a room and having to sleep on the floor in the living room; quitting a job that I loved to go work at another job that gave me more stable hours and stable pay; quitting that other job altogether because I was unhappy there, and etc.  Everything happens for a reason!  Whether it's good or bad, it's for a deeper purpose!

Earlier in the week, I was able to get my room back :D  My extended family now have stable jobs, so they were able to afford to rent out several rooms from a house situated at the end of our block.  My mom is happy that they were able to find a place to rent that is close to her, so if she ever needs help with the patients, she can give them a call (if they are off from work) and they can just walk over to help.  I am happy as well because I get my old room back and my baby had been blessed to have a room of her own :) It feels great to have things kinda go back to the way they used to be. And I say kinda only because things are better now :)  My family is at a better place, my mom especially and I am at a better place and I have my family, friends, and of course my dear Father up above to thank for everything!!

Now, I will do some exercises to help baby come out sooner ;)  Have a great weekend everybody!

A Storm of Thoughts

Being that February is the shortest month in the year, it is so ironic how I've been filled with so many thoughts and emotions revolving not just around my pregnancy!

In the beginning of the month things were pretty easy-going.  One of my best friends from my dance group Ma'ohi Nui, and fellow line captain got the dancers together from Ma'ohi Nui to coordinate a surprise baby shower for Junior and I :') It was another happy moment in my pregnancy to see my hardworking, passionate, dedicated sisters and brothers (of Tahitian Dance) go out of their way to put together a party for me, considering that they have a major competition coming up in a month's time (March 14th--just around the corner of my due date).  I'm always so appreciative of these little things and I hope that my daughter will be the same.  I take that back, I KNOW she will be the same once she see's through mommy's memory books of how blessed of a little girl she is, even long before she was even born!

Throughout the month, Junior and I have supported numerous of our friends with their fundraising projects.  As a dancer, I know what it was like to have to raise funds for costumes, airline tickets, musical equipment, etc.  And I also know what it was like to have to hustle to make these costumes by hand and to make them well.  So, even though I won't be a part of the line for this upcoming Tahiti Fete, they will always have my support!  I was able to donate some monies towards my dance group.  This month I also supported my good friend Edmar Ramos and his AP Calculus students and another friend who will be dancing in this year's Merrie Monarch Festival.  I am also trying to help my friend with her fundraiser for Arthritis.  I know how much it means to her and I want to show her my full support and not just be a talking puppet, saying that I'm capable of helping her and not putting it to any action.  I know I don't have a job and I should be saving money for my baby, but when it comes to giving, I may not give extravagantly, but I give what I can because HE has provided me with plenty even though it may look like I have NOTHING haha!

This month has also been somewhat of a struggle with my hardworking, better half going off island weeks at a time for work.  I'm nearing my due date and sometimes I just feel like everything is just too much for me to handle without him here :( Just the other week my OB was not available so I had to have my check up with the nurse practitioner, where she lectured me about my weight, told me I was already 2cm dilated, and then informed me that is was highly possible that my baby would be born with a low birth weight, but "not to worry." It is pretty difficult to not worry when an authority figure is telling me

1. "You're too fat"
2. "Your baby's too small, which makes you even fatter than I had previously lectured you about"
3. "Your baby is head-down, 2cm dilated, thus she should be here any moment now."

It was good news mixed with bad news and when you tell someone, whose hormones are already out of whack these kinds of things, all at once, of course they are bound to become an emotional wreck for a minute or two or three.  I was so bummed leaving the doctor's office that day because for most of my life dancing, I've been fit.  I built stamina, edurance, and worked out almost everyday on top of dance practices on average 3 times a week.  I would even be hard on myself about my weight!  I haven't changed much of my diet since becoming pregnant so, I know for a fact that I don't over-eat and with baby in the way it's hard for me to even finish my meals.  Even Junior can vouch for me and say that I am making him gain the weight because he has to finish whatever food is left on my plate because I get so full so fast.  I eat my mom's home cooked Filipino veggies every day and my sister in New York also sends me super foods to help baby eat nutritiously as well.

Being that I was emotional after my appointment, I walked over to Shiro's and ate a cheeseburger Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!  Probably the wrong choice of food to eat after your nurse practitioner tells you such news, but daaayumm that burgah made me feel gooood deep down to mah bones!!  Hahahaha!!  During the rest of the week I woke up early and went for morning jogs around my neighborhood, sometimes with my dog, to try and get baby out sooner :)

That weekend, Junior came home :)  I am always so happy when he is here because he makes sure baby's needs are met and we get a lot of things done as far as preparing for parenthood!  Saturday came and I noticed that I started to get a rash on my arms.  It was pretty mild at first, but it started to spread like a wild fire.  I haven't changed body wash, lotion, or shampoo, and the only thing different that I could remember eating was almonds, but I normally don't get reactions to almonds, but I thought it could be a possibility because it's been a while since I've had that many almonds so I decided to wait it out and see if the rash would die down.

It has been almost a week since I've had this rash and my OB was able to confirm that it's not from anything that I've been eating or applying, but is a pregnancy rash, which affects about 1/200 pregnant women.  With Junior being off island again, it's been so hard trying to keep a level head and go on normally with this pregnancy because I feel like a meth user!  All day, every day, yesss even in my sleep, there is something crawling under my skin!  I've been tempted so many times to get my gerber knife to try and peel myself open because nothing works :( NOTHING!  I have PUPPPs, which stands for Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy.  You can look it up if you want, but in other words is just this really irritating rash that some women get during their last weeks of pregnancy up until a week of two after baby is born.

My OB was also able to confirm a couple of other things at my most recent visit.  So, from the time that I saw the nurse practitioner up until yesterday (1 week to be exact) I haven't even gained 1 lb.  Secondly, my baby is not underweight or tiny, she is in fact growing accordingly, if not "healthier" LOL!  And lastly, I am not dilated at 2cm.  I am only at about 1 or 1.5 cm.  I am absolutely relieved to know that my baby is healthy and growing accordingly and that I am big because I am pregnant, not just because I am overly fat!  I was kind of disappointed that I am not as dilated as I was previously told and that baby won't be coming out for a while, but at least next month Junior's boss allowed him to work strictly on-island so that he won't have to catch a flight back when I go into labor.  Phew!!  Now that my OB has cleared up those facts with me I can just concentrate on my well-being... but even that is hard with PUPPPs :'(

If you have PUPPPs, I can tell you now, nothing is going to cure it instantly, nothing is going to make you sit in peace for even just 5 minutes, nothing is going to make the crawling under your skin go away... unless you shoot yourself, but that is NOT an option for me.  In the beginning I cried to Junior about it!  We bought all types of things like hydrocortisone creams, benadryl extra strength, neosporin with pain relievers for my cuts from scratching, aloe straight from the plant in my back yard, baking soda powder to try and dry up the rash, oatmeal and milk bath, ice packs, tea tree oil.  I was even prescribed a steriod cream :'( :'( :'( Nothing works :(  I told him how this wasn't fair that I had to get inflicted.  Why am I chosen to have my skin get beat up from the scratching, the cuts, the bumps.  Even then it's hard to talk to him about it over the phone when he's not here with me because he is working 12+ hr jobs off island :(

Last night, while I was trying to get some sleep.  I woke up with my skin feeling like a million bugs were crawling all over and under it--not just the usual thousand that I usually feel, but 1 million!  With my eyes shut I literally scratched and scratched from 1:50am until 3:30am.  I was so desperate to relieve the itch that I didn't realize I had been scratching myself that whole time!  I tried applying my steroid cream on all the itchy areas, but nothing helped.  I scratched so hard my skin became super lumpy and hot, as if someone had lit my skin on fire!!!  **that is a normal thing for me since I've inflicted this rash.  About 5 to 6 times a day, I can scratch at myself until my skin feels "the fire"**  Last night, I couldn't take it so I went to the bathroom and took a cold shower.  It felt soooo good for the moment and I poured my oatmeal and milk mixture all over my poor, aching skin.  Certain areas stung because I didn't realized I scratched so hard that I broke skin.

At that point, almost 4 in the morning, I had an epiphany!!

My baby is not going to be here for another couple of months.  In the words of my OB, she is quite comfortable hehehe!  And I am glad she is :)  I am her home and I want her to be the healthiest she can be so long as she is living inside of me.  Thus, I am going to be itchy for what will seem like in my eyes, a verrrrrry loooooong time!  I've decided to not let this rash control me or my emotions or my feelings.  Yes!  It still itches very, VERY MUCH!  But I've dug deep enough to know that I can be strong and put on my poker face and deal with it with patience and tolerance!  I want my daughter to know and be proud that her mom can endure anything and that mommy can rise to the top without having to open her mouth to win and that she can fight any fight peacefully and patiently so long as she keeps the right mind set :D  Although right now my rash feels like this...

In time, I will be proud to wear whatever armor comes with bringing my baby to being.  Tiger stripes, battle wounds, call it whatever you want to call it because I will one day be proud to wear my crocodile armor because I know I will come out of this struggle feeling like this...

***men from Papua New Guinea of the 

Kaningara tribe in a skin cutting ceremony 

where boys become men, 

honoring the strength and spirit of the crocodile***

With that said, although I am hurting right now, I am happy to know that soon enough the day will come where I can finally hold my precious baby in my arms!

A Dancer Must Know "BALANCE"

Yin and Yang--the balance of life.  

Sweet and salty.  

Hunger and satisfaction.  

Up and down.  

Happiness and grief.  

It is exactly what my January of 2012 felt like.  Along with all the great things to come and that are currently going on, it is countered with the struggles that my nearest and dearest friends are having to endure.  It is sad and it humbles me to the root of my own existence.  Every day, now I "die to myself" a little, thinking what I can do to make things better for my friends, for my family, for humanity :'(

The upside to this month was the joy of being able to be that much closer to the birth of my baby, which I pray is as healthy as a horse :D  I was able to go for a relaxing dip in my friend's pool and towards the end of the month my family and friends threw me a surprise baby shower!  It was more than I had imagined it to be and I was soooo happy and above all, grateful for everything!!

Also this month my really good friend, my former fellow dance line captain of Maohi Nui [prior to me being pregnant and stepping down from the line] informed me of relationship issues that she has encountered, which began to take a snowball effect into larger problems, involving her entire family and has begun to stress her out.  I try my best daily to be there for her and give her daily doses of positivity and a reality check here and there hehehe!

Another dear friend of mine, has informed us of a spinal surgery that she has to go through :(  In an email she wrote to us about the surgery and her thoughts...

...I would have told u all in person about this but it has made me so stressed, scared, overwhelmed and jus emotional the past month and I just can't talk about it without breaking down. I was told that the recovery process will be one of the most painful things I have to go through. and to be honest with u all, I go through so much pain everyday, n i try not to show it. but jus thinking about how much more pain I have to go through jus really gets the best of me; I'm really not sure if I'm ready for it. =*( but I am gonna keep doing what I've been doing and with the love and support I have from my family and all of you, I know I'll get thru this! My docs said it'll take about 3-6 months for me to recover so that means we're gonna be MIA for a bit =(

In another email...

...My cyst grew bigger but isnt affecting anything right now. There's nothing they can do for now since its not life threatening yet. But how do you tell someone who's going thru so much, who constantly gets bad news about their health, to not worry?! I'm so sick n tired of all this. I'm tired of being in pain, I'm tired of taking meds, I'm tired of worrying wat will happen next. I'm so ready to jus give up but I can't cuz I have my kids n [husband] to think about. Getting this news right before my surgery has made things so much more difficult for me. I'm trying to jus deal with one thing at a time but I'm jus so exhausted...I really need a break from all this! 

I look up to her for so many reasons and believe that even with all that she is going through [has been going through], she is blessed beyond measure--we all are :)  In my heart, I know that I want to do so much for her and the non-profit foundation she wants to built, but I don't know exactly how I can help :(  So I plan to just take things one day at a time and be there for her--visit her often and bring her some of goodies and funny jokes hehe!

The day before her surgery, I said a prayer and each day, hold it faithfully in my heart.  She will pull through!  My friends and family that I continually pray for will pull through :) and we need these struggles in our lives as much as we need each other because without any pain or suffering, we would not be able to appreciate the greatness in our lives!!

My dearest, loving God,

I ask and pray that you please be with my friend [------]. Please send comforting thoughts her way and please fill her heart with your love, guidance, and presence, letting her know that her family, friends, and You are always with her rooting for her to continue doing a great job pushing through and being strong!! Please keep [her husband and children] strong and hopeful because as she much as she needs them, they need her more than she knows!! We all need her so please Lord, please protect my friend, whom has fought a long way being an amazing mother of three and a beautiful, wonderful wife! We trust that you will guide her through a safe and speedy recovery!!

In Your name we humbly pray for Your continued blessings for my amazing friend, [------], and her family. Amen.

Sent from my iPad

Sleep--A Fond Memory

I'm about 33 weeks into my pregnancy and I just can't seem to get in a good night's sleep :( Junior even went out of his way to buy me a boppy "pregnancy" pillow. It worked for a week with the help of some hot cocoa before bed, but last night was another bad night! I slept good until 2am, started tossing and turning in bed and attempting to get comfortable. Finally 2:30 came I ended up laying with my eyes wide awake until Junior's alarm for work went off at 5am :(

There are so many things that I miss about not being pregnant and sleep of course tops the list... But aside from that, not being able to dance is a biggie!! It's hard for me to even fathome that I went from dancing to almost every single day of my life since my adolescence to not doing it at all since August! I definitely feel bored, saggy due to the lack of muscle usage, and of course a lack of confidence. Dancing always gave me some kind of self security... that every time I stepped into the zone, no one could harm me, and that regardless of how much sweat and pain I had to endure, I still felt beautiful... Even without all the show make-up and gaudy costumes because looking the part really is only half the battle. When you dance with passion and grace, no one can touch you. And that's what real dancing is about--feeling the music and being so alive in it.

Another struggle in my life is my mom's care home. Since I have stopped working, I have been spending a lot of time at home, I get to witness what my mom deals with every day, seven days a week. It's no wonder my mom is so stressed and I can't blame her for taking it out on my dad and I, no matter how much we try to help her :( It's a hard career and I haven't given her the credit that she deserves for working so hard my whole life to be able to bring in half of the earnings for this family. And my dad works so hard to help her, on top of the overtime that he puts in at his regular job. I love my parents so much and hope that I can help them more so they can relax and also be able to work and take care of my soon to be bundle of joy.

I was brought to realize this about my mom just the other day, when she got upset about one of her patients constantly peeing his bed and how she's tired of having to waste her energy and money for the electricity bill always having to clean up after his mess when all he does is lay down, and eat all day. It's so simple for him to just get up and walk to the bathroom but instead he chooses to pee in his pants and the bed so that he doesn't have to interrupt whatever he is watching by going to the bathroom... In response to her scolding him he kept telling my mom "Fuck you!" continuously! And then made a comment that he would give her something more nasty [whatever in the world that supposed to mean] "/ I guess my mom has been doing for so long that these kinds of occurrences don't shake her, but it hurts me to hear my mom get disrespected like that!!

Well these are the thoughts that have pretty much occupied my mind this week. Last week I was able to enjoy some fun in my friend's swimming pool! It was so relaxing. I felt light as a feather, until I came out of the pool :( I hope that I will be able to enjoy more pool time before I give birth... It really calms and relaxes my mind... Something that I definitely need more of :)

Lots on My Mind :0(

We're about 2 and a half weeks into the new year and I feel like so much has taken place already. I must admit my attitude towards my relatives has changed positively since 2011. I helped my 2 aunties apply for housekeeping positions at the Hilton Hawaiian Village. One of my aunties got a call last week to come in for an interview today. I hope she gets it. I'm not sure if my other aunty got a call :( but I prayed in hopes that they would get the job to ease some stress off my mom so she won't have to worry about taking care of them all time. Sometimes however I can't help but get upset at them. Just the other day my aunties were trying to convince my mom to buy a foreclosed house for them to rent out! How can anyone have the audacity to ask for such a thing?? They don't know how hard my parents have to work just to pay off one mortgage and they want to ask my mom and dad to add another thirty-some-odd years to pay off another mortgage on a foreclosed house!! They don't even know why the home has been foreclosed and my parents may have to spend more money putting work in to fix the home :/ I can't help but feel upset at how they can just ask, ask, and ask for everything from my mom and dad when their own kids and grand kids wouldn't dare to abuse them financially like this!!

I feel like for the majority of m pregnancy I've been worrying so much about these family issues that I haven't even had the chance to rest my mind and prepare myself spiritually and mentally for my little one :( I have only weeks left before she will be here and I haven't even found her a pediatrician :( and being without a job has definitely taken a toll on my bank account. I'm so used to providing everything for myself. I'm honestly very lucky to have monies saved up...otherwise I wouldn't have survived the holidays and paying some doctor bills. Now I'm just worried about having monies to buy all of the essentials for baby :0(

Going into my last trimester, sleep has been nothing but a distant memory for me. I can't even remember the last time I had a good night's rest. I cried to Junior last night telling him how I was so over being pregnant! I'm tired of the body aches and pains, tired of being fat, tired of not being able to drink/ eat sushi/ work out the way I used to, tired of not being able to dance, tired of always feeling so drained from lack of sleep. I think my emotions just got the best of me because deep down, I have been so blessed to have the support of my nearest and dearest friends!!

Love you :)

2 0 1 2

H A P P Y . N E W . Y E A R !

The New Year has been great so far! I'm as plump as can be, but I sincerely could not be anymore grateful for everything that I have in life thus far... still hoping and praying for a healthy baby :0)

Resolutions... This year, I resolute to be

1) Frugal, esp. with a baby on the way and no job at the moment.
2) Less paranoid--I've been watching too many murder/crime shows lately that I have been having a hard time sleeping at night because I'm afraid that someone will break into my house and murder me :'( I can recall having these kind of fears even as a child :(
3) Help out my parents more with the physical household duties
4) Give more--in any and every way possible!

Last Day of 2011

These last few days of 2011 have been so busy that I haven't had the chance to blog about Christmas, but I am not complaining because nothing beats being the company of great and amazing people!!

• December 17-Pajama Party with a group of my best friends
• December 22-Christmas Party Reunion with friends I've made from the Alaka'i Malama Academy
• December 23-Christmas Lunch Date with my best friends Chris, Ian, PJ, Abe, and Melenj
• December 23-Ma'ohi Nui Christmas Party with my hula sisters and brothers
• December 24-Christmas Eve spent openning presents with the Burgess' then Midnight Mass with MY family, Abi, and Hallie
• December 25-Christmas Day spent with both sides again.
• December 26-Registered at Babies 'r' Us
• December 28-Surprise Birthday Dinner for Sharon Sonson
• December 30-Birthday Dinner for Shayna Muhammad

So many great events leading up to 2012.  I spent today, cleaning and helping my mom and aunties prepare a feast for the New Year!  I know I have had a negative attitude about them prior to this blog, but on Christmas Day, I asked my Jesus if it was too late to change my Grinchy-attitude and if I could still ask for his forgiveness.  Since then I have been more loving and happy towards them and try to carry on with helping my mom!!  We did a lot of cleaning and preparing today... now, I must get ready to go to a bbq with my baby's daddy and his family :D

Cookie also has a new bed, which is under the soft blanky, courtesy of my loving sister, Tine :0)

She looooves it soooo much!!! Thanks Tine!!

Have a safe celebration everyone!! More pictures to come :)

19 Days Left in 2011

    With the year nearing its end, there are still a couple of things I wanted to do to make this year complete.  Every year I'm always good and punctual with gathering a lot of my "pre-loved" belongings and donating them to my local Goodwill bin and writing out donations to the St. Jude Foundation and Children's AIDs foundation, but this year I've slacked :( I know that I've given a lot of clothes and money to my family that has moved to Hawaii earlier this year... and along with their Christmas presents, I think I've given them more than enough!!  They are not the only people in need.

    Christmas cards :0)  I love receiving Christmas cards, especially when I get so see my friend's Holiday photos.  I thought of sending some out this year as well in hopes that it'll reach my recipients in a timely fashion.  It seemed like a great idea to me at first, but then I really thought about it... my baby's daddy and I aren't married so to me it seems silly to say, "Merry Christmas!  Love, Jax and Junior and fetus" versus, "Merry Christmas!  Love, The [Franklins]"  We're not really a family-unit yet so I'll hold off until next year :0)

    ****Okay, sorry this has nothing to do with the last 19 days of 2011, but I need to vent, like right now!  So my mom had asked me to prepare lunch for her patients.  Previously when I was working full time, my dad would help her w/ caring for them and just recently my mom's sisters would also help since they just moved here and couldn't find jobs that they liked.  But today, my dad is still in Guam and it's one of those days where her sisters left the house, probably gallivanting and spending the money my mom gives them.  My dad and I are my mom's primary substitute care-givers so we KNOW how to do these things and we don't get paid to help her.  Anyways, I had something baking in the oven for the patients and moments later my mom's sisters arrive back at the house.  I specifically told them that I was already preparing their meals and I would monitor their food and I would remove it from the oven WHEN IT WAS READY!  So I left for a while to continue w/ my blog and with all that being instructed my stupid Aunty removes what I had baking minutes prior to it being done and the both of them were constantly asking, "Is it cooked? Is it cooked?" ...This is me in my head knowing that the meat is un-fucking-cooked [OH MY FAHHHKING GOODNESS!!!  ARE YOU FRIKKEN KIDDING ME?!?!?  Did you not hear what I had told you... that I would remove it from the oven WHEN IT WAS READY!]  I ovbiously cannot stand them and I know the only reason why they are SOOOOO willing to help is because my mom pays them to help because after a couple of months not finding a job they decided to settle with not working.  They're too fucking lazy to go out and look for real jobs like the rest of us Americans have to do.  Gunfunnit it took me fucking 8 months to find the job I wanted and this was AFTER COLLEGE... with a degree!  I don't want my mom to have to keep working just to continue to give them an income... these fuckers have to learn on their own!!!!!!  Yes, I know I'm not working now, but I intend to when baby is here and I have some monies saved up.  I'm so maaaaaad at them!!!! UGGGHHH!!!!****

    Okay so back to my blog... So, my dad has been gone since October and the job was only supposed to be for 3 weeks, meaning he was supposed to be back before, if not by November 12, 2011, my birthday :0( as of today, December 12, 2011.  He is not back yet.  Delay after delay after delay!!!  I am upset with his job!!  He has already missed Halloween, my birthday, my mom's birthday, Thanksgiving weekend, and at this rate, most likely Christmas too :0(  I just hope that he returns home in the next 19 days that are left in this year.

    Usually during this time, I like to gather up ideas for resolutions for the upcoming year.  Working out or staying fit is usually somewhere on that list, but this year I feel it is especially crucial since I'm gaining weight with child.  I was going through some of my old files and found some old photos.  And although I don't have a clear set of New Year's Resolutions for 2012, I can use the photos that I found as motivation for whatever I resolute to do hehe!!

    Wish me luck ;0)  Have a blessed "19 days everyone!"  Now, I'm off to gather some things to donate!  Love you all!!

Last Christmas

It's almost hard to believe that this year is coming to an end!  Last Christmas doesn't seem so long ago.  I spent the Holidays practicing day in and day out for our Tahitian group's Christmas Production over at the Aloha Tower.  Who knew that, that was to be the last Christmas I'd spend being myself--meaning the pre-pregnant me hehe!  And although the year seemed to have gone by so quickly, my pregnancy just seems to draaaag day by day :0(  I seriously can't wait for baby to come so I can hold my precious angel in my arms instead of in my womb.

Along this journey I was able to take some maternity pictures.  In the beginning when I had arrived home from our Japan dance tour I already knew in my head that if I decided to take any pictures with child, I didn't want to do the typical beach photos that a lot of expecting mothers take only because these days, the beaches are crowded w/ photo shoots!  I remember our family did a shoot during the New Year and our photographer said she would "photoshop people out of the scenery." I didn't want something "made or photoshoped."  I wanted something simple, natural, and wow!  Here are just a few of the photos that were taken by my awesome friend, Ian Susa.  All I can say is that it pays to do your homework and that I have the greatest friends ever!!

The holidays always gets me in a cheerful mood!  I love when my mom and I get together to "Deck the Halls" We bought our Christmas tree and I got to decorate it this year... no it's no Rockefeller Center tree, in fact it's quite small and meek :0)

I also wanted to display some of the cool gifts that I got.  [Ever since I was little I didn't have the patience to wait for Christmas to open gifts.  I'd always creep under the tree and tear little holes in the wrapping paper just to get a little sneak hehe!]

My boyfriend got me and ipad!!!!!  Okay so some of the things I did gift myself lol, but doesn't mean that I ONLY shop for myself... no, no, NOOO, not at all!

Aside from the gifts that I've bought for family and friends, I am still helping my mom financially to help HER FAMILY make a living.  Some days I don't mind, but other days I think about how soon I will have a family of my own and I can't be always throwing my money here and there to help them!!  And it hurts me a lot and I get so emotional because the kids don't appreciate the sacrifices that I've had to make.  I had to give up my room for them, our pets suffer having to live outside because of them, I've given clothes to them, bought groceries for them, give my mom money for their rent and other things.  No, these kids don't know that a portion of the money comes from me.  They don't know how to take care of MY family's home.  They don't know who pays the electricity bills and cleans up the kitchen and bathroom after them.  They don't know how much it hurts me to be in this situation and I sometimes feel that my mom even forgets.

Today is one of my cousin's birthday.  My mom wants to throw a pizza party and asks me for money to pay for it.  I overheard one of my aunts asking how much it would cost and my mom said, "No, it's okay!  I got it!"  Oh **crinkled forhead** well doesn't she mean that I (her daughter) GOT IT!  Then, of course the kids will eat all the food and leave nothing for me... as usual!  I think they just assume I'm invisible and I'm not hungry :0(  I've been feeling this way for a very long time and I'm constantly battling my thoughts to just be nice because my mom tells me constantly to not scold them, but it's so hard!!  How could I not scold them?!  On top of everything I've previously mentioned my cousins even dared to look at porn on my computer--which was in my room--without my consent!!!

If there's really anything I would want for Christmas... it would be to have peace in this home once again and for my parents to get a break from her relatives taking everything from them :0(  Hopefully this will be the last Christmas that I will spend having to feel this way :0(

UPDATE: The kids ate all the cheetos :'( but it's okay because I always start to feel bad because of the happy smiles on all of their faces.  Here's the second round of gifts for my family that is not overseas.  The santa sacks are for the kids filled with candy goodies and some money... key word is some money because hello?!  Aunteh not rich! HAHAHAHAHA!

H A P P Y . H O L I D A Y S . E V E R Y O N E !!!

A season of THANKS and GIVING :))

The fastest time of the year is now approaching!  Don't blink because you might miss all the joyous celebrations and festivities to come!

My dad has been in Guam for well over a month already and he has missed my birthday, my mom's birthday, and Thanksgiving :( I hope that the submarine gets fixed so that my father along w/ the other workers can come home and spend the rest of the Holidays with their families!

This past week was spent gift shopping for my nephews, sisters, and their families in the mainland.  I was able to wrap the gifts strategically ensuring that they would fit into the postal service flat rate boxes and also so that the kids would have numerous presents to open up come Christmas and their birthdays (since both of the boys' birthdays are near Christmas and New Years).

Today on Thanksgiving is my mom's youngest sister's birthday and it's also the day that my little baby is 24 weeks!  I spent the lunch having a joyous meal with my baby's daddy and his side of the family over at Tsukiji restaurant.  It was a great time and we were both stuffed.  We arrived back at my place to do a Thanksgiving get together here and my bf has been knocked out since... it's 5pm :/  We both have to work tomorrow :(

I am so thankful for my little angel growing inside of me, for He who listens to my prayers, for family, for friends, for my cute pets, for good times and bad times, for mother Earth and father Sky, for the clean water and clean air that I get to consume, for good health, shelter, and safety, for vehicles to travel in, for love, for Yanni, for compassion in the world, for the Holidays to come... I am oh sooo THANKFUL for everything!!!!

Lots to be THANKFUL for :)

I haven't blogged in a while.  So much has happened in the past couple of months that I haven't had the energy to be normal, but then again since I've been pregnant, nothing about me has been normal.

Nothing much happened in September.  I'm usually so organized with my life and schedule, but I haven't even touched my planner to schedule a date since who knows when, I can't even recall.  Pregnancy has got me being quite anti-social :/ I've been refusing to go out and refusing to have my picture taken lol.  I just feel sick all the time.  My job at State Farm is not my forte.  I'm definitely not happy sitting in an office.  I spoke with my previous employer and plan to go back to working with Special Needs kids--they need me and I definitely need them!  The job was hard, but I was happier there :)

In mid-October I finally got my room back :) and although I got to put some organization back into my life by putting my room back together, I realized that every thing else has been out of order since our relatives moved here :'(  I can't find majority of my scrap-booking materials or our family's Yanni CD's!!  I'm so sad about that, but at least my mom and I were able to find our Christmas decorations and I got to help her put them up in November.....

November, dear, sweet November :) My birth month and this month by two amazing friends tied the knot [Congratulatory shout-out to Mr. and Mrs. Balmonte!  Love you both].  I'm about 5 months into my pregnancy and although my morning sickness isn't as bad as it was during 6 weeks to 14 weeks, it's definitely still hanging around :( I won't disclose gender of little baby or possible names that we like, but daddy and I have it all kinda-sorta figured out lol.  I'm really glad that he's been so supportive and loving despite my usual grouchiness!!  This month I put in my formal resignation at State Farm to take care of my mental health and baby ;) I notice that I'm also more grouchy and forgetful.  I also have a tendency to want to be alone more and more often.  During this month I have also noticed that I have lost my ability to hold my pee lol!  I think I should invest in depends diapers haha!  Yeah, I haven't been doing my kegel exercise as I should be :/ tsk tsk, shame on me!

I admit that I do miss dancing!!  I miss going to dance gigs and hanging out with my hula sisters and brothers.  I miss it so much that I still go back once in a while to chime in and get a little exercise in, but mostly to support my dance-family in their upcoming competition which I wish so much to be a part of :0(

Today is my mother's birthday :D My dad's been gone for about a month now and doesn't know when he will return home because 2 submarines broke down in Guam so he's there helping to repair them.  He won't be back by Thanksgiving.  Today my cat Nohea is sick :'( I'm so sad, I love her :(

Well I know this blog has been kinda random.  Just trying to catch everyone up on everything that has been happening.  Hopefully I'll be back to blog about Thanksgiving for we have so much to be thankful for :D Have a great one everybody!! xoxo's

A Life Changed!

I'm baaack!  I don't even know where to pick up.  It seems like ages since I've last blogged.  I guess I'll go ahead and sum things up in bullet points before I get into my main topic:

• At the end of May I ended my career as a paraprofessional and took a job offer from my insurance agent to work for State Farm... "Get to a better state," but I wouldn't say that the grass is always greener on the other side =/ 
• With taking on a new job that started in June throughout mid-July, I've been working 40hr weeks, studying religious for the insurance producer exams, practicing tues/thurs nights and saturday mornings during the week and performing at gigs with Maohi Nui on top of all of that... all the extra activities and obligations that I had going on were just wearing me down.
• Also in the beginning of June I moved out of the house because I was forced to be without a room in my own home because my mom surprised me with the fact that her siblings and their families would be moving into our house.
• July was crazy on top of everything going on, couple of us dancers were getting ready to go on tour to Japan on July 18-30th... 12 days :(  Extra rehearsals were required and a lot of new costumes needed to be made.  I was exhausted... so exhausted that the week before tour, I was running a fever of 103.7 degrees.  I was miserable with the chills, recurring headaches.  I felt miserable and I knew that I had still A LOT to get done :(
• Finally in August, moved back home.  My sleeping quarters consist of a fold up cushion pad in the living room tucked right under our piano.  My parents offered their bed, but my dad recently hurt his back.  Sleeping on the floor and having no room is NO FUN AT ALL, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.  Also, upon returning home from tour I found out the most life-changing news that completely threw me for a loop...

I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!

The very moment after I pee'd on that stick in a hotel room in Japan and saw the plus sign form all I could think was "This is soooo weird," while the other dancers bid me congratulations, I couldn't help but worry about all the stress that I've put on myself and baby prior-to and from that moment of "knowing" I knew that I needed to change my lifestyle and I knew that nothing else in the world was more important than the life and well-being of my little jelly bean :D

So now we're in the month of September this coming Thursday I'll be 13 weeks.  Let me just say that every pregnancy is definitel different because while almost every celebrity looks absolutely stunning carrying their lady lump around town, I on the other hand am a miserable train-wreck!  It's no overstatement when I say that the smell and taste of everything makes my stomach turn and my morning sickness lasts well passed the morning hours into the afternoon, night time, and I even wake up in the middle of my sleep feeling nauseous.  So I end up walking around to sooth my stomach or I even cry because of how miserable I feel :(

Work is also a different story.  If I could call in sick every day just to stay at home and rest, trust me, I would, but right now work is a necessity and it is my only obligation... the only thing I need to get through so I can one day afford a house for my future family to live in and save up for a good college education for my little jelly bean.  Of course I haven't forgotten about the baby stroller, car seat, diapers, etc.

I never thought driving would be such a difficult task!!  I get super nauseous in car rides, especially when I'm driving.  Sitting or waiting in restaurants make me sick to stomach because I hate the smell of food cooking!  That fresh smell of coffee perking every morning makes my stomach turn.  The scent of my deodorant, lotions, and hair shampoo make me gag fo' dayz because I think those smells absolutely reek!  Brushing my tongue causes my meals come streaming out of me (I know right... soooo gross).  French fries taste so frikken nasty... and last one, but definitely not the least, water!!  Yesss, water tastes so yucky :( but I'm lucky I can force it down every day, but it has to be super cold, if not, it'll come right back up.  The reason why I drink so much water during the day is because I'm afraid of getting headaches because my mom refuses to give me any kind of medication for it (yes even after the dr. deemed tylenol to be absolutely safe).

Once my OB confirmed my pregnancy, I bought the book What to Expect When You're Expecting.  As informative of a book it is, it still sucks!  It makes for a great horror story!  This book literally scares the living crap out of me!!  Telling me that my nipples may bleed, my anus muscles will hurt, syndromes, diseases, how my skin color may change--and I'm not talking pretty and vibrant colors the way chameleons do.  How hairy I'll get, how morning sickness gets worse then goes away or may even last throughout the whole 9 months, or even how a cesarean scar could hurt for the rest of your life!  Oh my gosh maybe it's just me, but it makes pregnancy seem like a living nightmare!

As fearful, worried, and miserable as I am EVERY DAY... of course there are a few things that I am thankful for:

• Preggie pops & Zofran.
• My hardworking & nurturing other half whom most of the time flies off island for work, but still never fails to make baby and I his priority :)
• And my amazing family and friends (you know who you are ;) ) for being understanding of my needs and for having my back when I needed it most!  I have an awesome support system :D 

Now, I'd like to end this blog with a little prayer.  I have missed mass for the past three weeks now and I ask for forgiveness because the church is such a powerful and wondrous home, but my nausea gets really bad being around the scents and fragrances of others, but I never fail to give thanks every day and I do my best to live with the compassion and humility that He possesses.

Mary, my Mother, grant that my little children may instruct me in the ways of God. Let their innocent eyes speak to me of the spotless holiness of Jesus. Let their open smiles remind me of the great love God has for his creatures. Let their helplessness teach me the unbounded power of God. May their first feeble efforts to speak call to mind the wisdom of the Almighty. May their simple trust in me lead me to cherish a like confidence in God. May my love for God be stimulated by the deep-rooted affection my children have for me. May I in all these things grow in a greater appreciation of my holy motherhood. Mary, I trust in you to obtain this favor for me. Amen.
Mother of Mothers, pray for me!

Maui Wowie!

Practices have been getting super intense during the past two months and we've just added an extra day on Saturday mornings to sweat it out in the hot sun at Ke'ehi Lagoon where all the Hamo's are tearing up the field playing RUGBY [my favoritest sport, like, ever]!  So I've said "Good Bye" to the late Friday nights because Saturdays I up by 5:30 am trying to mentally and physically prep for the 3 hour conditioning/practice.  I've been getting super purple as the weeks go by, but it's okay because black is beautiful and I think being tanned makes me look more skinnier and defined versus the way I looked with my pasty light skin haha!

Due to the Tsunami in Japan, we've had less gigs than usual because all of their events got pushed back **Continue to keep everyone in your prayers because judging from the gas prices, I think the world's about to end soon**  However, we do still have gigs from our other major international clients.  Tomorrow, about 30 of the group's members are flying out to Maui to perform at a Convention in Lahaina.  I can't wait!  Four out of the thirty-something people are taking the last flight in that same day to make it to work on Friday... and I'm one of them.  I'm bummed that I made that decision to NOT party with the rest of them after the show and fly in the next afternoon, but ugghh, I need to make that money since the whole living situation with my family happened...

Speaking of that.  I can't believe it hasn't even been a week yet since they've been here.  It's so funny because it feels like it's been forever haha!  Well, I've been managing with this situation.  I actually did quite well today!  But there were some days where I wouldnt know what was worse--being at work, or being at home.  This past week my student has been really aggressive and started hitting, kicking, tantrum-ing, whining, and crying at all periods of the day.  He even almost landed a side-blind punch on me and trust me, if he actually connected, I would've punted his puny ass all the way back to kindergarted!!  Nah, just playing, but yes I was very frustrated, but none-the-less, I thank God for EVERYTHING that HE has put on my plate.  & I'm very happy and blessed that I have a house to live in even if it is with a dozen other people, a job that I can go to every day even if my student is a psycho, friends and family whom I can count on no matter what problem I'm faced with--big or small, a dance group [practically my second family] that motivates me every single day of my life to work hard and be the best that I can be... life is grand... so let's all pray for and start doing big and little acts that exhibit WORLD PEACE, LOVE, & HAPPINESS... EVERY DAY so that our awesome God doesn't make the world end just yet.

BITTERSWEET

Last week Friday was my last day with my first permanent client.  I have been working at Mililani Middle for a little over 4 months.  Within that amount of time I have made strong connections with the DOE personnel and with the students there as well.  I was excited to be transferring and getting another client, however when the day was almost over, I felt sad.  He's a really good kid, and I'll never forget our eventful, last week together.  I wish him and his family the best of luck in the future and I will definitely miss everyone that I have been blessed to have the opportunity to work with!!  Now it's time for me to venture out into new waters!

What I'll miss most:  School lunches and the fact that teachers get DOUBLE!  The cold weather up in Mililani Mauka makes me feel like I work in the North Pole.  Treats and goodies from the students.  The rainy days!  P.E. class and KICKBALL!!  :'(

Uncovering the truth down under: AUSTRALIA TOUR 2011

WARNING: The blog entry that you are about to read is very long [just as I like it] detailing exactly how busy Ma'ohi Nui dancers are! We do work, son... No joke about that ;) And please stay tuned for more pictures to come in the upcoming weeks.  AFE's photographer on tour, Joshua Gatlin, did an amazing job documenting the shows and workshops that we've conducted in Australia. 

Mahalo Nui Loa!
 

Where do I begin?  There is just so much nitty-gritty-business when it comes to preparing to go on a tour.  Of course it's always exciting to travel, but not a lot of people see the hard work that goes into these things.  Yes, the dancers have beautiful costumes, the hair, accessories, and other adornments are in place, the dancers pretty much nail the performance AND choreography, the music and beats are to the tee, but ALL of these apsects don't just come out of thin air!  With dedication, blood, sweat, tears, and hard work--people make these things happen!  The costumes have to be created, choreography has to be made, formations in the line up have to be memorized, the music has to be composed and played to the right tune, key, tempo, etc., everything has to be well thought of before the actual show can come together.

3 WEEKS before leaving to go on tour
We had to learn a whole new Samoa section and Hula section for tour.   And as dancers, it is very critical to be flexible to any changes to the routine, no matter how last minute the changes are [& I mean "last minute" as changing something the very moment before you get on stage]!  So that's why things can get a little frustrating!

The typical daily grind for me includes: Work-itself, work trainings and supervisions, helping to teach keiki tahitian class, helping to teach beginner tahitian class, helping to teach intermediate tahitian class, and practicing in advanced tahitian class [Yes! That's 4 separate dance classes per week], doing Insanity work outs 6 days a week, house chores, AND doing an average of 2 gigs per week [whenever/where ever in the islands].

Still doing dance gigs & trying to manage other aspects of our lives with only 24 hours in a day!

Thus, on top of all of that, the 3 weeks before tour, we've added yet ANOTHER session to practice strictly for the tour and all of my extra time and energy went to figuring out transitions, formations, and how we were going to get our costumes made!!

It was TIRING for me to keep up with work, dance, and other outside priorities, but I've somehow managed.  So, you can already imagine how exhausted we were BEFORE we actually set off to go on tour!  Hahaha!  So not the bizness, I tell you!

Packing was a BITCH!
Please excuse my foul mouth, but it really was only because we had to be mindful to pack lightly due to all of the equipment, drums, and other instruments that the group needed to check in as well.  So aside from packing the normal things that people pack when leaving to go on a trip, we also had to pack our costumes.  Just reminiscing about my packing makes me irritated, so I'll just leave it at that... packing was a major bitch!  But once that was squared away............. all I could think about was......... AUSTRALIA :)

6 DAYS in AUSTRALIA
DAY 1: It was a 10 hour flight from Honolulu to Sydney, Australia.  **Just a side note: I get restless and irritated when it comes to plane rides because I can never fall asleep like everyone else** Once we touched ground, got through customs, and collected all of our luggage and equipment, we boarded our tour bus which took us to Novotel Manly Hotel... [another frikken hour away].  On the way there, it was my first time seeing the famous Opera House.  I thought it would've been my last, but luckily it was the first of many times I got to see it on this trip :o)  Once we got to the hotel, we unloaded equipment and got settled into our rooms.  Everyone pretty much did their own thing, some got to explore the city, others were mixing kava in one of the guy's room, but me and a few others showered, then knocked the fuck out!!!  SERIOUSLY!

DAY 2: The next morning we got ready, ate breakfast, and had to load up into the tour bus YET AGAIN to board Qantas to fly from Sydney to Alice Springs where we were conducting one workshop and performing two shows in partnership with none other than the NFL's Tampa Bay Buccaneers, along with one of their former head cheerleaders and a personal photographer!  The funny thing is, I'm not really into American football, but I LOOOOOOVE RUGBY!!  So, speaking of rugby, as luck would have it, as we were doing a group check in at the airport, we ran into Australia's finest...  RUGBY TEAM!! 

This would be a good time to mention that Australia is fahhhking expensive!  Right before boarding the plane, Kapua was little bit thirsty so she bought one bottle of Stella for $10!  Sheesh!  It's just as expensive as Tahiti and US money is pretty weak there.  However, we learned from a Commanding General (Pardonne moi as I am not to familiar with Military titles, but I did receive a special coin from this particular man who invited us to Australia), that although the cost of living in Australia is HIGH, the minimum wage is $14/hr and if you work at McDonald's you'll start at $18/hr and Aborigines get $1200 every two weeks from the government as a sort of compensation or amnesty because of the commercial development that has taken over their land.

Still in DAY 2:  So after finally arriving in a different part of Australia called Alice Springs, we got settled into our separate houses and then set off to go grocery shopping.  This was a major culture shock for us.  I knew Aborigines existed, but I never thought about the kind of situation they had to live in.  Most of them literally lived in the surrounding bushes, the males are violent toward women, children, and especially tourists... LIKE US!!  They use their money that they receive from the government to get butt-fuck drunk by mid-day, or to gamble at the nearby casinos.  When we were shopping in the grocery store, all we could smell was their funk, because they don't shower :o(  I gagged a couple of times in the alcohol section because it was just sooooo hauna!

 

After our grocery shopping "experience", we got our living situation a little bit more organized then had to get ready for the potluck that the Commanding General threw for us.  We drank, BBQed, ate, shared stories, and then we were off to go feed some Wallabies.

Once we got back to the houses, it was time for another [alcoholic-kava] drinking session for the entire crew!  Maohi Nui, Buccaneers & company UNITE [As if the FREE booze on the plane ride and from the potluck weren't enough]  SHEEEEZ!!

DAY 3: We were up bright and early ready to start, yet another long day!  After eating homemade breakfast burritos and sipping on coffee [I don't usually drink coffee, but it makes a great laxative for me].  We got up, put on our practice gear and set out to our venue where we would be performing that same evening.  Musicians did their sound check and the entire crew ran through the whole performance twice to work out any changes and so forth as far as staging.  We definitely worked up a sweat as it was a much needed detox!

Afterwards, we went to BoJangles restaurant to sample some of Australia's native grinds, then we hurried home to our respective houses.  The boys said they cruised and had time to sleep before the start of the actual event, but for the girls it was a different story!  We were a mad house, ironing pareu's getting our hair prepped, flower pieces, accessories and all of our costumes together, showering all the damn sweat off of our bodies, getting our show-make-up on, etc. etc.  It sucks being a female dancer because we put in more work than guys do [And I state that as a matter-of-fact because the girls ended up sewing the guys' and musicians' costumes]! LOL!

Once we get to the venue, the guys do air brush tattoos and the women do lei-greeting and casual hula as the guests arrive.  After about an hour & and half... It's SHOW TIME!  The line-up:  Eye-Opener, 'Ote'a, Emcee Song, Hula Imps, Hula Kane, Hula Wahine, Tonga section, solo Ahuroa, Samoa, Samoa sasa, Samoa slap, Vahine 'Ote'a, Tane 'Ote'a, audience participation, finale, & picture taking session. The first show was rough on us all.  It was okay, but not up to Ma'ohi Nui standards and if you know our leaders, then you would know that they expect only the BEST!  But regardless, it was fun for us all and now we knew what we had to do to make show #2, even BETTER!!!  So after the show, we scoped out the casino's, bars, and restaurants in Alice Springs.  The whole scene was okay, but we decided we had enough of that scene and it would be in our best interest to bring the party back to our houses.  So we drank, laughed, screamed, danced, and "Big Booty-ed" they night away ["Big Booty" is a game that no tour would be complete without].

DAY 4: We were up early, AGAIN, to host a workshop for the people of Alice Springs.  The NFL players did a football workshop with the guys, and Ma'ohi Nui, did a dance workshop for the girls.  I ran the workshop with much help from my fellow female dancers, musicians, my leaders, and the guys were there to support us.  This workshop was conducted in 105 DEGREE WEATHER!  

So we were BEYOND detoxified by the end!  Some of the men stayed to play a friendly game of football on the field, but the rest of us went back to the grocery store for more food to cook and more alcohol!  It was the weekend in Australia, so the store was packed with even more drunken Aborigines.  One was passed out on the floor :o( SERIOUSLY!  

After our grocery store run, we went back to our houses to get ready for SHOW #2!!  We were all drained from the heat and the workout that we got earlier in the day so having to prep for another show was tiring, but as the saying goes, "THE SHOW MUST GO ON!"  So it's the same routine as the first time we arrived at the Alice Springs Convention Center, however, this time around, our leader was really satisfied with the way the show turned out.  Show #2 was way better than the first so it definitely called for A Major Celebration!

We all gathered at the girl's house to cook, have a pot-luck style dinner, drink, and celebrate the completion of an awesome tour!  So much jokes, laughter, and food was shared between the musicians, the dancers, the leaders, our collaborating team: The NFL Buccaneers and company.  This night, the two leaders which I give my utmost respect to, and I stayed up until 8am partying and mostly sharing our deepest gratitude for what we have in front of us!  It's truly a blessing to be where I am in life and I'm not going to let anything stop my train in it's tracks!

DAY 5: Slept for only 2 hours because we needed to get up to board the plane back to Sydney.  I was so wired-awake and grouchy because I didn't want to be awake AND because I was either spotting or on my full blown period for the entire trip!  [Yesss! I PMS-ed for the whole trip :(] I felt like an insomniac!  UGGGHHH!  So I endured the 2 hour plane ride back to Sydney, and the hour bus drive back to Novotel Manly hotel.  It's already night-time in Sydney and we were given an hour to get ready to go out for our LAST NIGHT IN AUSTRALIA!!

We showered and got all primped up not knowing where the hell we would be spending the evening LOL!  We ended up at the Manly Warf, catching the ferry over to the Opera House of Sydney.  That boardwalk is beautifully lined with bars, restaurants, romantic lighting... IT WAS BEAUUUUTIFUL!  We had a group dinner at a fancy restaurant called Searock Fish Cafe and all the food tasted awesome!!

So of course, after spending the night out on the boardwalk along the Sydney Opera House, we miss the last ferry going back to Manly Street, which was shortly after 11:30pm :o(  So, we decided to take the city bus back because it seemed like the most reasonable plan, but we had no clue which bus stop would take us to that route.  Luckily, out of the blue, a nice Australian street walker lead us in the right direction... the only problem was that mother fucker took us walking up, down, and ALL around the WHOLE entire city for about half an hour until we reached the right bus stop.  Then, we discovered that it would be another half an hour wait for the actual bus to come.  We were tired... exhausted!!  We just wanted to go home to our beds, so we decided to just cab it back.  Luckily for us there were several cab drivers across the bus stop, whom were able to take us back to our hotel.  $10 per person to get to where we needed to be without having to wait versus $4 per person to have to wait to ride in the city bus having to deal with all the stops a long the way...  I think we made the right choice lol!

Once we got back to the hotel, we all gathered together in our POC's room for a small chill session before we departed the next morning.  Before we settled and got the little party started, Jame's Lee, one of the NFL football players on tour with us, led me to the balcony and told me to look over in the next room.  I saw a messy luggage, but when I looked further to my left, I found our POC's hotel-neighbors fucking... NO SERIOUSLY, going at it with their curtains open, and their lights on... just humping!  I was too much in my PMS-mood to find it funny... [okay, okay, it was a little funny].  So we spend the rest of the evening drinking beer courtesy of everyone's mini-bar [because last call in Australia is 9 frikken pm] and watched the video of our performances in Alice Springs.

DAY 6: Time to head home.  We were up early.  Some got to catch the waves across the street at Manly Beach and I rest of us went to catch breakfast at a lovely little place called Poco Loco, right next to our hotel, still across the stree from Manly beach :o)

After all the morning business, it was finally time to bid Australia a fond farewell.  It was beautiful, it was fun, it was CRAAAAZZYY!  But despite all the glamor and fun, it was fucking exhausting!!  We had an hour bus ride to Sydney Airport, 13 hour flight to San Francisco with some rude guy kicking and putting his nasty toes on me during the whole flight, rushing to get on another 5 hour flight from San Francisco to Honolulu, the constant packing, unpacking, and packing up again, and the hauling of numerous heavy luggage and equipment, and going in and out of baggage claim and customs completely tired us out!!

But it's not like I came back home to rest..............

1ST WEEK being back Home
Sooo, I arrive home on Presidents' Day only to go back to the daily grind.  My body is telling me, "You've got to be fucking kidding me, right?!" But my alter-ego is saying, "Runnnn 'emmm haaaard girrrrrl!" So this is what my schedule was like the very next day after 18+ hours of traveling.

Tuesday 7:45am-4pm, [P.S. I take NO breaks at work on any given day because my student is nuts like that] then straight to help run keiki tahitian class, then beginner tahitian class right after.
Wednesday work 7:45am-3pm, then prep my costumes, hair, and make-up, then head out the door for a dance gig at the Waikiki Sheraton.
Thursday work 7:45am-4pm, then straight to help with intermediate tahitian dance, then practice in our advanced tahitian class.
Friday work 7:45am-3pm.  Clean up the mess I brought back from Australia!!

I finally get to catch up with rest tonight and THANK GOD my CPI training for tomorrow from 8am-6pm got rescheduled, otherwise I would've had an absolutely rough week to endure!!  But Ma'ohi Nui is getting busy with shows so my schedule doesn't look like it'll be opening up much anytime soon!  This is my life, this is my train and it's definitely going 100+ miles per hour with always something to be done at every minute of the day.  If I skip a beat, then my train gets jacked up!  I gotta keep up and I think I do a pretty good job at it.  That's why I created this blog, so you can jump on and catch glimpse of my life as a dancer... a glimpse of just how fast my train is going :o)

Home, Sweet Home!

Yes, I'm back on the rock! I've been meaning to blog about Australia since I got back this past Presidents' Day, but I haven't had the time to do so :( but I will definitely get a chance to do so soon. It will most likely just be of pictures and captions because we did A WHOLE FRIKKEN LOT!!

Ever since I got back, there was no time to recuperate or rest. We barely got any sleep on tour and we worked our booties off! When it was time to head home, I was just exhausted, but frustrated at the fact that I couldn't sleep comfortably :0( I was on a 13 hour flight from Sydney to San Francisco, then another 5 hour flight from San Francisco to Home, sweet home, HAWAII, and before I knew it, I was back to waking up to long days at work and going straight to dance gigs and dance practices. Uggh I've been exhausted, especially with having my period during the tour I just feel all sorts of strange things going on with my body. But it was definitely a fun trip and I will definitely blog about it sooner, if not later! Love you guys and I'm glad to be back :0)

A Few of My Favorite Things

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things" 

I'm sure you're familiar with that tune :0) With that in mind, I wanted to list a few of a dancer's favorite things.  They might be minor things to anyone else, but to a Polynesian dancer, these things are as good as GOLD!

• Bobby pins
• Hair berets 
• Safety pins
• Hook & eyes 
• Industrial velcro
• Fire-engine-red color lipstick
• False lashes (The Best Kine from Longs)
• Lash glue (Shiseido brand only from Japan direct)
• Bushy, bushy, BIG hair!
• Coconut bra
• Hula panty
• Angel Cake cutter (to shred them ti leaves)
• Dog grooming brush (to shred them tahitian grass skirts)
• Twine
• Scissors
• Extra black shoelace strings

Those are just a FEW things that are essential to have on hand as a dancer.  I have a huge tool box at home filled with "tools" that I need when it comes to costume making and show prepping!!  It's kind of ridiculous.  What I also think is ridiculous is the amount of space that my costumes take up.  It's bad enough that women, in general, keep a whole closet(s) and drawer(s) full of clothes!  So, can you imagine needing double that amount because your show costumes take up that same amount of space!  Hundreds of colors of show pareu's, practice pareu's, pau skirts, ahu purotu dresses, hula vignette dresses, cellophane skirts, pule tasi's, piu piu skirts, feathered outfits, headpieces, mother of pearl accessories, coconut accessories, rafia/lauhala outfits and accessories, muu muus [Yes, I do own and wear muu muus on occassion haha!], hula implements-uli uli's, pu'ili's, & ipu, headpieces... etc., etc.

Yes, this is just another thing you might want to consider if you ever decide to live with a dancer because chances are she'll probably ask for double the space just to house all of her "native attire" HAHAHA! Have a happy Thursday everyone!!  Weekend is almost here!

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Update: A few of my NEW favorite things :0)

Just a couple of outfits I picked up from a boutique, House of Aria, courtesy of the birthday gift certificate that I got from Marichris and Leilani!  Yeah, I'm so on a budget these days!  I only ended up spending $58 for these three items because I had that gift certificate :0)  **pat on the back for me**